Have you ever felt guilty that you could not take the time to go see a friend or go to a function because of the responsiblities awaiting you at home? As a new mom and as a wife, this is something that I experience almost daily. There is this feeling of guilt and dread that surrounds me when I have to tell someone no.
The people pleaser in me, screams! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So, I prayed about, tried some things and here is what I have found....
Scenario One- I commit to go see the person, go to the event, etc. anyway.
Conclusion-Frustrated on the day or 2 before, frustrated and rushing the day of, frustrated afterward
=Unhappy Household!
Scenario Two- Don't go and give a long explanation of why it cannot happen.
Conclusion-They ask me the one question that causes me to doubt myself and my daily decision making,"What do you do all day?" They still don't get it.
=Doubt, depressed feelings, rough day
=Unhappy Household
In just these 2 scenarios alone we find that UNHAPPY WIFE=UNHAPPY LIFE!
So here is what I plan to do...
Consider
1-Does this effect my husband, if so, ask him if it is something that he wants to do.
2-Why am I going? Is it out of guilt? Because I generally miss this person?
3-Consider if this is the appropriate time for it or do we need to consider if another time would be more appropriate, SIMPLY take a rain check?
If I based my decision out of guilt, then it is not going to happen. My heart is not in the right place and the those closest to me will suffer (husband, children, even the family dog). My family and well being comes first, not someone else that I am placing my worth in that in a few years may not even be someone I speak to.
The people pleaser in me wants to make everyone happy But that isn't possible, so I need to be the best me that I can be and that starts with being Christ's daughter. I need to choose and acknowledge that my worth is in him and out of that overflow I can BE the best Angelina and fullfil the roles that I am first and foremost called to as Christopher's wife, Israel and Princess' mom.
That is it, that simple. Now, there is way more to this people pleasing stuff that I need to dig deep and deal with BUT for now. I need to acknowledge these situations and ask God to reveal his truth to me and why I am allowing these people to dictate my worth?
Join me on this journey! :)
The people pleaser in me, screams! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! So, I prayed about, tried some things and here is what I have found....
Scenario One- I commit to go see the person, go to the event, etc. anyway.
Conclusion-Frustrated on the day or 2 before, frustrated and rushing the day of, frustrated afterward
=Unhappy Household!
Scenario Two- Don't go and give a long explanation of why it cannot happen.
Conclusion-They ask me the one question that causes me to doubt myself and my daily decision making,"What do you do all day?" They still don't get it.
=Doubt, depressed feelings, rough day
=Unhappy Household
In just these 2 scenarios alone we find that UNHAPPY WIFE=UNHAPPY LIFE!
So here is what I plan to do...
Consider
1-Does this effect my husband, if so, ask him if it is something that he wants to do.
2-Why am I going? Is it out of guilt? Because I generally miss this person?
3-Consider if this is the appropriate time for it or do we need to consider if another time would be more appropriate, SIMPLY take a rain check?
If I based my decision out of guilt, then it is not going to happen. My heart is not in the right place and the those closest to me will suffer (husband, children, even the family dog). My family and well being comes first, not someone else that I am placing my worth in that in a few years may not even be someone I speak to.
The people pleaser in me wants to make everyone happy But that isn't possible, so I need to be the best me that I can be and that starts with being Christ's daughter. I need to choose and acknowledge that my worth is in him and out of that overflow I can BE the best Angelina and fullfil the roles that I am first and foremost called to as Christopher's wife, Israel and Princess' mom.
That is it, that simple. Now, there is way more to this people pleasing stuff that I need to dig deep and deal with BUT for now. I need to acknowledge these situations and ask God to reveal his truth to me and why I am allowing these people to dictate my worth?
Join me on this journey! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment